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I’ve Never Been This Afraid of Losing You

Dear Clyde,

All my life, I believed fear was just a shadow—something that fades away with the light of reason or the edge of a blade. I’ve faced monsters and enemies head-on, confident that as long as you were by my side, nothing could defeat us. But tonight, as darkness surrounds us and danger lurks in every corner, I feel a fear I’ve never known before.

I’ve never been this afraid of losing you.

It’s not just the echo of enemy footsteps that makes me shiver, nor the whistle of bullets in the distance. It’s the thought that you might not come back to me—that this could be the last time our hands entwine, the last time I hear your laughter or get lost in your tired but always brave eyes.

I think of Violet—her clear laughter, the way her little arms cling to my neck. She’s far away, safe with my sister, but I can’t stop imagining her face if we don’t return. Who will explain to her that her parents couldn’t come back? Who will teach her to be strong, to fight, to love as we have?

Clyde, I have been strong all my life. I have been the storm and the shelter. But now, on this mission where everything hangs by a thread, I realize my greatest fear isn’t death—it’s the possibility of losing you. Losing the life we’ve built together, the years of understanding, battles, and shared laughter.

I write this because if anything happens, I want you to know that loving you has been my greatest adventure. That even amidst fear, uncertainty, and danger, I would choose a thousand times over to walk this uncertain path by your side.

Promise me we’ll come back together. Promise me that no matter what, we’ll fight until the end. For us. For Violet. For all we still have left to live.

With all my love and my fear,
Julie

💋